Archive for the ‘Social’ Category

Bullying has always been a part of school culture. How can we help our children to deal with a bully?

A year or so back I was privileged to be invited to several schools in Westville to talk to the children about bullying. At the time there were serious cases that had occurred in other schools and it was quite a treat listening to the different and sometimes very similar opinions and ideas the kids had.

The topic never really goes away as bullying is, and I say in despair, always will be part of school culture. Therefore this article is definitely for children and equally importantly for parents to read and discuss.

What is a bully?
A bully is someone who hurts you. They can hurt you in different ways from hitting or pushing, to calling names or making the victim look stupid in front of friends. They can steal from other children or even pester others doing things like kicking the back of a chair or pulling clothes or hair.
Sometimes, but not always bullies are bigger than the victim, but often the bully has the bigger mouth and the following of a little gang. What we need to know is that their behaviour is WRONG and you can do something to stop them. Parents should never make light of a child’s claim of being bullied. One must remember that their entire life is home and school. They lack the wisdom and experience of age to deal with these sorts of problems if confronted.

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If you are being bullied, what CAN you do?

You must tell somebody. You have the right to be helped. Tell your parents or a teacher. Keep telling them until they believe you or do something about it. Adults, I remind you, do not take reports lightly. It might seem like an insignificant problem to you, but can be utter misery and lead to major problems if not addressed.

Do not worry about being called a ‘tell tale’. You are doing the correct thing by reporting the bully and you have the right to be happy at school or at home and not have others hurting you or bothering you.

What if your friend or somebody else is being bullied?
Listen to them if they want to talk to you about it and support them.
Do not join in the bullying or join the laughing. The same could be happening to you.
Choose your friends carefully. Be friends with others that are kind and do not hurt other people. If your friend is too scared to report what is happening, go with them to a teacher or another adult. You can also go yourself and report it.
Try and be somebody who attracts friends because you are good, kind and helpful to others.
Again, do not worry if you are called a ‘tell tale’. You are doing the right thing by reporting a bully.

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Let’s be considerate, reasonable and responsible…

During my 12 something years as a policeman I have had to sort out many, many disputes between people that tend to be on the border line of a policing function but nonetheless, we get called to intervene.
My less than favorite is the “loud music” or “disturbance” complaint. Two things make this a difficult situation to handle. One, alcohol is usually involved and two the party hosts et al have the opinion that they have the right to party as loud as they want.

I have a few ideas of my own on the subject and I pray readers take them solemnly into account just as you would any piece of advice.
No right is absolute. Even the right to life can be limited or set aside in a case of self defence. So, just as one may have the perfectly legitimate right to have a celebration or party, so too have your neighbours the right to a peaceful existence without their windows cracking. Two things can solve any dispute in the world. Long range artillery and plain human consideration for the next person. You decide which will improve matters and which will just escalate them.

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For the first time they had hope and dignity…by Jean-Ray Knighton Fitt

CAST’s Feed-A-Family project provides food for about 210 families every month and will be increasing to 280 in 2011.  Providing food, however, is only the first step in a series of things CAST does to uplift needy families. The food parcel, which was designed by a dietician, provides a balanced diet for a family, but only the poorest families with a monthly income of less than R200 per family member qualify for the programme. Community workers assess the families and meet with them regularly to give them a practical “hand-up”.
The food parcel on its own deals purely with the hunger issue, but the opportunity it creates to help a family is about so much more than just food: it is a doorway through which we get to know families, understand their needs and find ways to help them escape the poverty trap.
Gail Whittear, coordinator of the Feed-A-Family Programme tells a recent story:
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Open Door Crisis Care Centre is playing a major role in combating Human Trafficking  and helping victims….

In our last issue the article on Human Trafficking brought attention to the alarming statistics – 27 million people have been victims of human trafficking, 1.2 million children are trafficked annually half of which are children from Africa. Over 100 000 children are victims of child prostitution in South Africa alone.

During the first National Human Trafficking Conference held in Durban in March 2009 the Acting National Director of Public Prosecutions Advocate and Special Director from the Sexual Offences and Community Affairs Unit and the Media commended the KZN HPPB Task Team at Open Doors and it’s role players as being the forerunners in the country in combating this heinous crime.   (HPPB is an acronym for Human Trafficking, Child Pornography, Prostitution and Brothels).

The Task Team  objectives are four fold:   Prevention, Protection, Prosecution and Partnerships. The Open Door Crisis Care Centre, a “one stop” crisis and trauma centre centrally situated in Pinetown, plays a major role in fulfilling the mandate to reduce the incidence of human trafficking and child pornography. The Open Door Crisis Centre is involved in prevention through education, training and workshops. Their shelter,  Ikhaya La Themba, is a registered “safe House” within a secluded residential area provides accommodation for 15 abused women and vulnerable children.    Ikhaya La Themba is recognised as the only shelter in Kwa Zulu Natal to accommodate victims of human trafficking where they enter into a holistic programme of counselling to bring healing and restoration, social services, medical and psychological support by a team of professional and lay counsellors.   At the present time they are accommodating  three ladies from Thailand who have been trafficking.

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If like me, you have abandoned your shopping trolley in a car park, then you may have contributed to our crime problem.
In a ground breaking piece of research, American psychology professor Robert Cialdini demonstrated that we were more likely to randomly abandon our shopping trolleys in messy car parks than in clean and tidy ones.  Such bad behaviour he suggests, leads to other forms of social disorder and so the messy cycle continues.  “So what?” I hear you ask, “What’s so groundbreaking about all that?” He has simply proved what we have known all along: that disorder creates disorder.
Yet this is an incredibly useful piece of research, particularly from the point of view of creating a safe South Africa.  When one compares what has become known as the “Cialdini effect” with other pieces of similar research, some challenging and perhaps uncomfortable truths emerge.  For example the presence of litter has been proved to cause 100 percent increase in theft.

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As the World Cup dawned on SA, even the most cynical began to feel the excitement of a Big Moment for SA, and a renewed optimism for our land. But what is the vision for tomorrow?……KRISH KUMAR, City Treasurer

“DO IT NOW”

He might be the treasurer of one of the largest and most flourishing municipalities in South Africa, but Krish Kumar is a shoulder-to-the-plough entrepreneur at heart. Krish started doing weekend work while still at school and began his three-decade career at the then whites-only Durban City Council in 1981. Today Krish controls a multi-billion rand budget and is injecting millions into capital and developmental projects to uplift the city and its inhabitants.

For Krish, the benefits of the World Cup go further than a temporary cash injection for the city. “The tournament has attracted 900 000 visitors so far, but the multiply effects are massive – you can compound 900 000 by a factor of at least 10. South Africa – not just Durban – has excelled itself, and the tourism and business opportunities generated from this event will take us to new heights,” says Krish. Sharing the story of walking from his office at 251 Smith Street to the game at Moses Mabhida Stadium, then to the Fanfest and back to the office at 11pm, Krish applauds the city for rising to the safety and security challenge. “Visible policing is the key,” he says. Commenting on the absence of litter, he also believes that the event has “recreated our civic pride and brought South Africans together like never before.”

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SA rolls out the Abuntu!

I went on a rant the other day regarding the cost of the 2010 World Cup versus all the critical needs South Africa is facing and whether or not the most vulnerable of this country would gain anything from having the World Cup hosted in their country. At that time, I also had some very positive things to say about our hosts for the 2010 World Cup and I wanted to share that side of the coin as well, because it is equally important.

To say that I have been blown away at the hospitality South Africa has shown the rest of the world would be an understatement. Read the rest of this entry »

Community & police at Banana City

Banana City Is an Informal settlement within the grounds of the Westville University. Over the last few years the SAPS and the community of Westville have assisted the inhabitants of Banana City with food, clothing and necessities due to the fact that over the 15+ years of existence, VERY little crime has originated from the settlement. As with any group of people living in any sector of the public, you will get the odd bad apple. However, the Induna has been more than forthcoming with the SAPS to help root out these unwanted elements. Read the rest of this entry »

Drinking to intoxication?

Hello, fancy meeting you here! It looks like the whole of Westville is out for breakfast. Oh, I see, good cure for a hangover after last night’s celebrations! Great game, wasn’t it? By the way, where are your kids? Didn’t come home? I guess they were celebrating, too. I collected mine just before midnight. They weren’t impressed! However, I couldn’t sleep if they were out all night, and when I collect them they know they’d better be sober! Yes, it is a nuisance, but I reckon it’s a small sacrifice for their security and my peace of mind. Read the rest of this entry »